May 21, 1964

St-Pierre

This morning I have received your letter of the 16th and am surprised that I paid you a visit because, on my part, I didn't see you—still nothing, complete blackout. This too disgusts me—I really don't know what I am doing... probably useless and silly trivialities, as usual. But when there are horrors, I am sure to see them. Maybe at night I am an American gangster, or a Zulu, unless it is a good, jet-black Negro.... It's absurd and discouraging. Besides, I seem to be becoming completely null and stupid—which is a pity for you.

S.